At the When Words Collide writing conference in Calgary in August, I gave a fast-paced one-hour presentation on dialogue.
Originally, it was supposed to cover 10 tips for effective dialogue, but that wasn’t good enough.
In the end, I provided 47 tips.
I’m happy to share these tips in a series of blog posts. Part 1 covered 29 tips. Part 2 covers 18 tips.
A number of sources informed this presentation, but the primary ones are shown here. All are worth reading.
Tip #30: “Never use a verb other than ‘said’ to carry dialogue,” Elmore Leonard said.
“____,” she said.
“___,” she said, “___.”
She said, “____.”
She said: “_____.”
Do you agree with Leonard? I don’t. I think you should use “said” wherever possible and introduce other tags if they make sense and convey meaning.
Which brings me to:
Tip #31: Other tags can be used for emphasis, exaggeration or to add a little variety.
“____,” he commanded.
“___,” he hissed, “___.”
He cried, “____.”
He roared: “_____.”
Tip #32: Avoid overused and complicated tags.
Minimize overused tags such as “sighed.”
Minimize complicated tags such as “expostulated.”
“Asked” may be redundant if used with “?”
“Hissed” works best if there’s an “s” sound in the dialogue.
Avoid using actions such as “laughed” and “smiled” as tags unless you really, really need it.
Tip #33: Use as few tags as possible.
We don’t want this:
“___,” Jane said.
“___,” John said.
“___,” Jane said.
“___,” John said.
“___,” Jane said.
“___,” John said.
Tip #34: If a tag follows dialogue, close with a comma (inside end quote), otherwise a period, exclamation point or ellipse (declarative).
“Yes,” she said.
“Yes.”
“Yes…”
Close with question mark (or ellipse plus question mark) if interrogative.
Tip #35: Replace tags with dialogue beats—action, facial expression, tone of voice.
If a character does something in the same paragraph as dialogue, no tag is needed.
She pumped her fist. “Yes!”
She smiled. “Yes.”
Her voice rose an octave. “Yes!”
Tip #36: Stage direction (like tags) can provide a short pause but with more drama.
A: “I’m going to finish this beer. Then I’m going to kill you.”
B: “I’m going to finish this beer.” He pulled a knife from his boot and set it on the table. “Then I’m going to kill you.”
Both work, but the second edges up the tension.
Tip #37: Body language is a form of dialogue that can be used for dialogue beats.
#1:
“Jane?”
She frowned and turned away.
#2:
“Jane?”
Her eyes seemed to dance. “What?”
Tip #38: Body language comes from feelings and personality.
Books like the emotional thesaurus can be a useful resource.
Tip #39: Body language reinforces or belies dialogue.
Two examples below. The first reinforces, the second belies.
He pounded his fist against the table. “No more of this!”
He grimaced. “Happy to do it, honey.”
Tip #40: Avoid overused actions in final draft.
I say final draft because in the first, writers often use crutches to keep writing at a brisk pace.
Examples: sigh, shrug, nod, turn, look, pause.
Use software to generate frequency of repeat words (Scrivener, Autocrit.com, HemingwayApp.com, etc.).
Also ensure actions fit character. Would an optimist sigh? A decisive person shrug?
Tip #41: Dialogue can convey facial expression based on context.
While body language can enhance dialogue, dialogue also conveys body language, so you have two tools to work with. Of course, this is based on context.
“I despise you,” she said.
(We can “hear” the glare.)
“So, you want to come upstairs for a drink?” she said.
(We can “hear” her playful smile.)
Tip #42: “Never use an adverb to modify the verb ‘said.’” –Elmore Leonard.
Do you agree with Leonard? I don’t.
But again, be as sparing as possible. I recommend writing with adverbs and then do a search for “ly.” At each instance, take the word out. If the sentence works just as well without the adverb, leave it out. Otherwise, put it back in.
Tip #43: Use adverbs to convey rather than reinforce meaning.
Right:
“I love you,” he said dully.
Wrong:
“Help me,” she said beseechingly.
Alternate to using “dully”:
“I love you.” He said it with all the enthusiasm of noting the time.
Tip #44: Start a new paragraph when a new person is talking. If character does an action, put it in the same paragraph.
“Let’s go,” she said.
He glanced up from his book. “I’m reading.”
“No, you’re not.”
He said, “I was.”
She raised the gun. “Well, you’re not anymore.”
Tip #45: Italics can change the meaning and tone of a sentence. (Be sparing.)
A: “I’m not going,” he said. (“I’m not going.”)
B: “I’m not going,” he said. (“I’m not going, but maybe somebody else it.”
C: “I’m not going,” he said. (“Even if you threaten to kill me.”)
D: “I’m not going.” (Total emphasis.)
Italics and devices like capitals are like camera zooms. They call attention to themselves. Be absolutely sparing, or go all out for effect.
Tip #46: Watch your “!”
“Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than 2 or 3 per 100,000 words of prose.” –Elmore Leonard
“An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.” –F. Scott Fitzgerald
“Whatever!” –Craig
Write your story with “!” Find the “!” Take it out. If it works without it, leave it out.
Tip #47: Quotation marks are optional but safer.
A lack of quotation marks is common in Southern Gothic (see Cormac McCarthy). In Cold Mountain, Charles Frazier uses a dash preceding dialogue.
If you break convention, intention and confidence are required. Note anytime you do something different, there are risks.
You can experiment, such as taking out quotation marks in flashbacks.
THANKS FOR LISTENING
That concludes “47 Tips for Effective Dialogue.” I hope you learned something. I certainly did writing it.
Click here to download a PDF of the presentation I gave at When Words Collide.
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